Books, Stethoscope and LUCK

The day i first stepped into the anatomy lecture hall of my medical school, how little i knew that step would be a gigantic leap into a micetrap. With almost every other eyeball scanning each new face as they entered the class, i quietly found a place next to a fellow wearing spectacles who presumably appeared friendly to me. Soon my eyes became a part of the mass eyeball exercise, where everybody was eye-scanning each other and hardly spoke little. The girls in the class ofcourse recieved the most glances, and a few preety faces amongst them ( which is the rarest sight in a medical college) appeared like someone had packed a few strawberries with a bunch of rotton potatoes. It didnt take me long to realise that most of the fellows wore thick spectacles, making their eyes look somewhat large, as if to proclaim that the power in my spectacle is directly proportional to the gray matter in my brain. So their i was, sitting like a geek amidst 149 other fellows who all fitted the defination of a "perfect geek" in their own way.

The principal soon entered and making his way to the podium, started his speech with, "My fellow students, this is a course where the entry is hard, journey is harder and the exit is the hardest..." I wondered if that sounded more like the movement of bowel in a constipated gut. I smiled at my imagination. Deep down i knew, my journey had begun..

The 5 year marathon rat race started. Soon we were burried 10feet under the graveyard of anatomy, floated aimlessly in the circulation of physiology, and burnt shamelessly in the bunsen flame of biochemistry. Some of the students initially freaked out and fainted at the sight of the ghastly looking dead bodies at anatomy dissection, but soon we became so friendly with the dead that we often offered to share our tiffin with them during the recess. Lucky for us that dead people dont eat. I realised it was all about geting yourself adapted to the circumstances, and this was only the first step.

Then came the blizzard of examinations. From class items, part completions, ward endings to semester exams, each were of its kind. Where the written exams were still of some reachable standards, the oral viva exams were mostly off the limits. The students were often morally molested and academically raped by the wanna-be great doctors (who ofcourse failed in achieving that and ended up being a professor) during the oral examinations. Their moto was "lets show these tiny mice how much we know and how little they know". So these hifunda.com geek doctors used to be in our nitemares most of the time.

But funny how quickly we learn to adapt and accept things around us. We soon got used to the ridiculous style of examination where answer scripts were never shown to the students ( i wonder if they were even corrected ), but the miserable marks were always brightly displayed on the notice board in due time. The mental molestations in the class or viva exams soon became a cantene joke or common room laugh. We thus became a part of the process, and soon learnt the three dictums of medical life :books, stethoscope and luck.

Books have always been a mans best friend. For a medico, books are his wives, soulmate. The equation is simple, the more hi-fi books u read, the more enlighted u get, and the bigger a frustrated geek u become. The ones who mastered this art well often ended up reading final year books on medicine and surgery in second year itself! Some even went upto the extend of solving post graduation mcq even before passing in the 2nd MB examination! But who can blame them? Such is the demand of this ridiculous education system of our country where you have to find a way to overtake the other to find your way to the top.

The next most important mantra is the stethoscope. Its an amazing tool without which life at a medical school is incomplete. In the early days of 3rd year, students (budding doctors afterall) often used to just hang it around their neck in the campus for mere show off! After all who doesnt dream of walking around in a white coat with a stethoscope, right? Stethoscope are a must in final year classes ofcourse. One can even get thrown out of the class if he doesnt bring his own stethoscope. Besides being an aid to listen to heart and lung sounds of a patient i wondered if the stethoscope helped us hear the mind talks of an examiner during exams. I wish it did.

And finally the most important mantra of all specially during the exams was our luck! We were lucky if the examiner was a goody type or was in good mood. Now if the same man is a frustrated geek (who got molested all his life, so he will take it out on us now) ; or say if he had a fight with his wife the night before our exam, then god save that candidate!

Those of us who does somehow finally find a way out of this 5 year marathon torture and misery by adapting quickly and following the dictum, are either often already half dead, or just waiting to get slaughtered again in the practical world!